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It is sometimes very amusing to be a Canadian especially in our relationship to our cousins to the south. Sure they, the US, make jokes about us such as: Canada is like living in an almost empty apartment above a great party. Very good, I have always enjoyed that one. I also know that we have a terrible way of being a finger waving self righteous people who talk about Canadian values and health care until you want to throw up.

However I did enjoy the article a few weeks ago about a US border guard employed along the US Canadian border who is suing his employer because he is so bored. He said in his suit that the US uses all the same forces that they do on the Mexican border, drones, dogs, heat sensors, horsemen, fencing, radar facilities and thousands of guards. But nothing happens. So to liven things up the Americans have mass arrests of visiting Pee Wee hockey teams, which leaves bad feelings to say the least.

Of course many unenlightened people down there think that the 911 terrorists somehow came through Canada to destroy the World Trade Centre in New York. Most must know by now that the Bad Guys were all happily in the States on student visas issued to learn how to fly but not land, large airplanes. It is true that an unemployed Algerian known as the Millennium Bomber was caught crossing the border in 1999 with a bag of fertilizer, who wearing sandals tried to make a run for it but was tackled quickly. I assume he did not know that you can buy fertilizer in the US.

Our friend the unhappy litigious border guard feels that his chances for advancement within his chosen field will be compromised if he is forced to squander his time playing solitaire behind a bush or searching stinky hockey bags. He insists that he be reassigned to Texas where the real action is. Very funny I think.

Copyright Major’s Corner 2014