Published September 24, 2014
Christopher Dalton’s first trip to Mexico sets the wheels in motion for his life Under the Palapa.
Before the autumn of 2010 I had only been to Mexico once, and that was to supervise the production of a movie in 1986 called Remo Williams starring Joel Grey and Fred Ward for Orion Studios.
I spent the entire time either at the studio complex in Mexico City or clinging to the side of a volcano a hundred miles away. I admit that that was not the best or most normal way to be introduced to a country. Furthermore, the movie was a financial disappointment, although it now has an avid following amongst film enthusiasts.
Cut to 2010, when a friend of my wife announced that she had two extra tickets to Puerto Vallarta at an all-inclusive and would we like to go? Once I was assured that I would not have to swim with dolphins or sit on endless boat trips throwing up my lunch, I agreed. My wife and her friend should do all those things while I and the other husband would read our spy novels and watch the inebriated (mostly) Canadians snore by the giant pool.
We arrived and the 10 days flew by with, as advertised, complete relaxation, except the part where the time-share people attacked us at the airport. I have not had so many hands touch me since the army.
Our suite was perfect, and so was the view. However the one thing I found odd about the hotel was that every dinner would be transformed into a different culture with the appropriate food.
For instance the first evening was Hawaiian Night, with some crazed hotel workers trying to dance, followed 24 hours later by Italian Night with the same workers dressed as what seemed to be gyrating prostitutes and gigolos, with an out-of-control motor scooter carrying a petrified priest (the guy from the front desk). Next came Polynesian Night, which, surprisingly, reminded us of the not-so-long-ago Hawaiian Night with the now familiar cast.
Many nations were portrayed but with some, we could not put our finger on who they were exactly. Lots of guesses, though (Latvian?). All our table really wanted was a Mexican Night, but there was never any sign of that.
The French equivalent arrived with more women of the night and sleek escorts, but this time the food (coq vin) took out fully half of the guests. It was a poorly attended breakfast on what was our last day. We drank only tea before making a dash for the airport. I thought I would never return.
Cut to spring 2011 on the set of a movie, Girl in Progress, in Vancouver, where the worst rain on record poured down upon us daily. The U.S. cast and producers were furious at me because I had promised them weather not unlike Los Angeles. I pointed out that I had not exactly said “sunny” weather, but this was met by angry shouts about “filthy Vancouver floods.”
It was also the time of the National Hockey League riot, when hundreds of fans rampaged through the streets after the Vancouver Canucks lost the Stanley Cup final to the Boston Bruins.
Somehow I started looking online for real estate in Puerto Vallarta, that being the last place I had seen the sun. I sat depressed and alone in my trailer (I was the co-producer), scrolling through condos and rentals with beautiful pictures of the sea and sand. I phoned my wife one day and suggested a real-estate romp in PV when the movie was finished.
When she recovered consciousness – she thought I had hit my head or was delirious – I told her I had found a Canadian realtor in PV and he was standing by. “I’ll book the tickets!!!” she roared, and that was that. We were on our way to what was going to be our greatest adventure, buying our dream home in Puerto Vallarta.
Unfortunately I did not ask the realtor, a great fellow by the way, “Will you be having a breakdown while we are there?”
I recommend that for the opening question to any house hunter, because ours did. But I will save that for my next column.
Copyright Christopher Dalton 2014
[email protected]
Tell us what you think in the comments section below.
Written by: Christopher Dalton
column
Share This Story
7 Comments
Kathy O’Brien
September 24, 2014 at 9:11 pm-Reply
Looking very forward to more stories…..and a lot of fun stuff
Allan Prout
September 24, 2014 at 9:01 pm-Reply
Good one Chris, always enjoyable when the writer is a friend and looking forward to many more ……
Marlyse Jones
September 24, 2014 at 4:34 pm-Reply
Can’t wait ….
Mark Carter
September 24, 2014 at 1:35 pm-Reply
I look forward to hearing how the first trip to PV went, and how is the agent now?
Mary Kahn
September 24, 2014 at 11:15 am-Reply
Sounds like good fun ahead.
Sheryl Menzies
Sheryl Menzies
September 24, 2014 at 10:06 am-Reply
Cool!
Crista M Rogers
Crista M Rogers
September 24, 2014 at 9:56 am-Reply
very cute…
Leave a Reply
Latest Local News
Princess Cruises Announce New Confidence in Mexico and Puerto Vallarta
Puerto Vallarta to Receive New Life Saving Emergency Helipads
Dead Dolphin Found on Shore in Puerto Vallarta
Coral Princess Scheduled to Arrive in Puerto Vallarta
Puerto Vallarta Tourism Board Joins One of North American’s Largest Tourism Associations
Join the Conversation
Andrew LeeAndrew Lee says:
Nina Goodhope Thanks for sharing this great artic …Nina GoodhopeNina Goodhope says:
Andrew Lee did you read this?Jim ButchartJim Butchart says:
Many of us ex-pats have learned PV has excellent h …Chris DaltonChris Dalton says:
It is too small a world to not be engaged with it. …Mary Beth Maria OMary Beth Maria O’Connor says:
I will just take a regular ambulance thanks
Marie Raeburn
I remember your place well as I was the first one to stay there. The Condo was beautiful with a wonderful view of the city, I was very blessed and honoured to be able to share your beautiful home with me. I miss it very much and maybe one day we will be able to met. I’m planning on going down in Feb. 2015 for a month. Think of both of you often.
One can always enjoy the beautiful weather there. It is always 27 C to 31 C.